Fitness Guru Jack LaLanne Exposed As Fraud

Funny story written by Honey West

Sunday, 1 May 2011


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We All End Up Here No Matter What

Iconic American diet and exercise guru, the "Godfather of Fitness" Jack LaLanne, has been exposed as a fraud. Even though he ate healthy all natural foods and juices, carried out a daily and very self-disciplined exercise regimen, and maintained a positive, upbeat attitude during his entire life, he still ended up dying at the age of 96.

Researchers say death is "a certainty" and "no one is getting out of this alive". No matter how many vegetables and blueberries and anti-oxidants you eat, you will die anyway, eventually.

Critics of Mr. LaLanne say he should have made this clear to his audience during the 50+ years of selling healthy living, diet and exercise concepts, so that they would be aware that he, and they, would die at some point in time.

One disgruntled ex-fan of LaLanne said, "He didn't even make it to 100. Lots of people make it that long. And some of them even eat a cookie or two along the way. If I can only make it to 96 pounding down juice and busting my ass exercising for decades, what's the point?"

Medical experts say that consumers should always be aware that "you can't cheat the Grim Reaper, only delay Him for awhile."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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