The eccentric, elusive editor of TheSpoof.com, Mark Lowton, has sent out an urgent plea for spoof writers to submit their stories quickly before the solar storm hits this world some time in the next couple of years.
He told In Seine News today: "I have it on good authority from NASA that this will affect most of the world and in particular the USA and most of Britain (some of the more remote Scottish islands will escape).
Because most of my revenue comes from Google, I want to cram in as many stories as I can to gain as much revenue as possible.I also intend splashing out on a new Aston Martin this year, as well as 3 weeks in the Seychelles...oh, there could possibly be a baby Lowton on the way too!"
"In anticipation of this, I have increased the size of my staff in order to cope with the "gold rush". I already employ my wife (although she does not get paid - apart from the occasional cheese toastie) and my brother Paul (who is more elusive than Osama bin Laden) and several other relatives. I believe it was Derek Conway MP who gave me the idea - thanks Derek"!
Lowton added: "there are precautions that spoof writers can take to protect their computers from solar flares and the most basic one is to wrap their computers and monitors in white cloth and then cover them in cling film in order to reflect radiation and then the most obvious thing would be to write at night when there is no sun to bother us!"
He concluded by saying: "we are in very interesting times and it will reveal who the real alien spoof writers are - indeed some of the writers often leave me wondering 'what planet are they on'? It would appear that we are going to find out soon."