Sir Isaac Newton's Neighbor May Have Discovered Gravity

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Sir Isaac Newton's Neighbor May Have Discovered Gravity
Sir Isaac Newton

London UK - A living relative of Henry Smyth, a metaphysical alchemist, who occupied the house next to Sir Isaac Newton's home on Cameron Lane claims his ancestors discovered gravity. The distant relative has a journal page written by his forbear dated 5 July 1686, one year before Sir Isaac Newton published Principia Mathematica.

Henry arrived home to a dinner of rosemary and garlic roast leg of lamb with minted English peas served by his wife Camellia, who proceeded to drop the platter on the floor, thus spoiling the entire meal. Camellia remarked that she felt a strange "force" pulling the tray toward the Earth. At first she thought it was baby Margaret tugging at her apron, but the baby was asleep.

Henry, dinnerless, stormed into the next room and consumed a few pints of India Pale Ale. He was interrupted by his son Philip who threw a soccer ball at a candle holder, which became a "body in motion" that slammed into the floor. There was that strange "force" again.

Henry once again fled the scene to his English garden and sat on a bench under an apple tree, staring at the stars. Then a falling apple smacked Henry on the top of his head. Another instance of that strange "force" was observed. The gravity of Henry's situation was further exasperated when he saw a smiling Sir Isaac Newton staring at him from across the garden!

A barrister for the Smyth family plans to petition Her Majesty's Government to ask the Royal Society about adding a foot note to British scientific history concerning Henry and the "force."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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