Medical Schools to Give Equal Time to Demonic Possession

Funny story written by David F Mayer

Monday, 5 December 2005

Washington, DC. The American Medical Association (AMA) today caved in to Christian Fundamentalists who are upset with the monopoly that Pasteur's Germ Theory of Disease has had in medical school curricula for more than 100 years.

The AMA, under pressure from IDS through its millions of supporters nation-wide, has agreed to the inclusion of "Demonic Possession" in all medical school curricula. In a stunning reversal of its previous policy, the AMA's Committee on Medical Curriculum voted 217 to 194 to support the teaching of "Demonic Possession" as an alternative to the "Germ Theory of Disease". The AMA has appointed a committee to write the recommendations, which will be distributed, to all AMA sanctioned medical schools in time for the autumn, 2010 school term.

The "Institute for Demonic Science" (IDS) stated in its press release, "The a priori rejection of Demonic Possession by the Medical Community is an affront to all open-minded people. The 'Germ Theory' is only a theory and has never been proven. It is no more than a religion in itself, and must step aside to permit the inclusion of other theories of disease. The Bible describes diseases produced by Demonic Possession in over 40 places. No one has ever disproved these eyewitness accounts. Therefore, they must be included in medical school curricula. We have finally attained the fairness that democracy demands."

The American Academy of Sciences was flabbergasted and issued the following criticism: "'Demonic Possession' is pure superstition. It has no place in Medical Science, or in any science. This is a clear example of religious intrusion into education and must be blocked."

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) could not be reached for comment.

Meanwhile, the "Biblical Literalism Foundation" (BLF), which has been involved from the beginning in the fight, held a victory party. Banners at the party had slogans including, "If the Bible Says So, It MUST Be So", "Jesus Cast Out Demons -- We Should Too", and "God is Right Again -- As Always".

The faculties of several medical schools held emergency meetings about the decision. Harvard Medical School released a brief statement as follows: "The inclusion of anti-scientific superstitions in medical school classes is totally ridiculous. Harvard Medical School positively will not go along with this decision." On the other hand, the (unaccredited) Love of God Medical School (LGMS) issued a comment in praise of the decision, "We at LGMS have always supported the biblical approach. We already have courses in 'Demonic Possession" along with such advanced topics as 'Astrology', 'Palmistry', and '"Necromancy'. LGMS is far ahead of the crowd."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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