3DTV Viewers warned to sit back from the screen

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for 3DTV Viewers warned to sit back from the screen
One Carlisle resident was KO'd by Amir Khan

After a series of accidents while watching Dancing on Ice in 3D viewers are being warned to sit back from the TV.

"Some of the pirouttes and leg raises can be quite dangerous," said show producer Demi Glissade. "Viewers sat too close could be whipped by a flashing blade."

A family in Derby were rushed to hospital after Kerry Catatonic performed a well executed grand jeté, slicing through all three members of the family who were gathered too close to their brand new 3DTV.

"It's the glasses," said Jerry Rigged, a 3DTV owner from Whitechapel. "You can't see properly through them, so you have to get closer. I've nearly been smacked in the face with a football when I was watching Manchester United and Liverpool in the FA Cup."

"I don't understand," said Marcus Donatello, an engineer for a popular British satellite service provider that rhymes with 'Why oh Why'. "It's not like there's really any danger, they're only pictures on a screen."

Donatello proceeded to set up a demonstration TV set, donned the goggles and showcased Terror Birds, a documentary show about some of the most dangerous birds that have ever lived with David Attenborough. Thirty seconds into the show, with his face very close to the screen, the St John's Ambulance people were treating him for facial gashes and an ambulance had called.

"As we said," said Glissade. "Please stay back from the screen, especially during dangerous shows, although you'd be quite safe during Famous and Fearless."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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