Fact: New Scientific Study Proves Running 'Gets You There Quicker'

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

image for Fact: New Scientific Study Proves Running 'Gets You There Quicker'
Running, these people must be late for a bus.

Scientists have sensationally discovered that running 'gets you there quicker', whilst being a good cardiovascular workout.

The study, undertaken at the Cambridge university, was conducted over a four year period. Funded by the taxpayer, boffins ran timed experiments over select distances to bring the results to bare.

"We found that across 100 meters, a person walking would take on average 110-130 seconds to cover the distance, but when the same distance was travelled at a sprint, it could be covered in around 30-50 seconds, by the average lard arse," we were told by Dr Preston Stuntbus.

"This find could be huge to people who may be late for a train, or late for meetings," he continued "by merely increasing their ground speed, they could well reach their destination faster. In fact, we feel they will be 94% more likely to be quicker, if they run."

As an added advantage, Stuntbus also commented on how the action of running increases the heart rate, in turn giving the muscle exercise.

"A good stint of physical exertion," he said "can do wonders for your health. So remember, if you run, you'll be healthy and you'll get there quicker!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more