Written by Leddy

Friday, 9 July 2010

Crew members aboard the ice-breaker vessel, UB. Fregot, on a scientific exploration mission to the North-Pole were shocked beyond belief when a polar ice-cap collapsed right in front of their ship exposing 10,000 perfectly preserved corpses.

Upon examination of the bodies it became apparent that none of the specimens were like any other Homosapiens ever discovered. Carbon-14 dating equipment aboard the UB.

Fregot has placed the cadavers in the Mega-millennium BC., sub-historic age; far more remote in time than the Ice Man, a 90,000 year old male found in the French Alps in 1972.

Eric Von Lager, captain of the UB. Fregot, had this to say about his shocking experience at the North-Pole.

"In all my years of exploration I've never seen nor heard of any other find like this one. As our ship approached the Titan Glacier, a mile high wall of ice broke loose and collapsed into the sea right in front of us, exposing a perfectly stacked cube of bodies, 100 corpses high and 100 corpses wide. We knew that the Global Warming effect on the polar-regions of the northern hemisphere were going to offer-up some archaeological treasures but we never anticipated anything like this."

Anthropologist, Rebecca Steinholder, head of the North-Pole expedition when asked for her views on the discovery stated the following.

"My observation of the bodies we've discovered at the North-Pole is startling to say the least. My professional opinion is that the humanoids we've found are by far the oldest ever discovered but what concerns me is that the bodies are neither dead nor alive but instead, they're in some sort of suspended animation, or hibernation state.

"The bodies, all males are approx. 10 feet tall and have six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. The strangest observation that I've made so far is the size of their eyes. The eyeballs are in huge sockets, and each one has two large, red glaring pupils that gives one a strong sense of uneasiness when in their presence. My conclusion is that this sub-historic race is an army of fierce warriors waiting to be awaken for some predefined battle, perhaps Armageddon, we just can't tell at this time."

News crews from every network are booking flights to Juneau, Alaska for further passage to the archaeological site at the North-Pole.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
61 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more