Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for God Decreeth to Apple: "Droid X July 15, Baby. iPhone 4 Can Suck It!!"
God didn't stay for AC360's wrap party.

After approximately 4,500 years, God has again allowed humans to hear His voice, when he spoke today to "Anderson Cooper 360" regarding Verizon's upcoming Motorola Droid X, and how He has decided that it will make the iPhone 4 irrelevant.

"The Droid X will have a 1GHz microprocessor, and a screen bigger than a EVO 4G," said God, the only AC360 guest ever able to shut Anderson Cooper up for more than 10 seconds. "It is Good."

Cooper grilled the Lord about Apple, and specifically Steve Jobs.

"I hate that pompous ass," God said. "You know, when the charger port on my 2nd gen iPod broke, Apple refused to fix it under warranty."

"I destroyed his liver because of it. Now my calls go right through."

Cooper and God spoke at length about the Droid X, when God spoke of his Ten Commandments for Smartphones, which he plans to post to his blog, www.IMadeAllThis.web.

"I haven't fleshed them out completely," said God. "You know, the original Commandments were kind of a first draft. In retrospect, coveting thy neighbor's donkey is not a big deal.

"8 hour battery life, bilateral antennas, MiFi, Flash support, these things are important."

God also had some advice for Cooper: "Tell your audience about Ben, Anderson. You don't have a gay nightclub owner as a roommate because you need help paying the rent. Tell them."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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