A pernicious new virus has spread surreptitiously across the globe. Known as the Speed Virus, it is set to activate in ten days, according to anti-virus giant Snortem.
For the past five years, this virus has been under the radar, slowly infecting any PC or Mac connected to the internet via a multitude of vectors, such as innocent pictures of cats or road traffic violations in Powerpoint displays and simple games throwing penguins as far as possible. It went undetected for years, allowing it to infect billions of computers.
Snortem have computers that believe it is two weeks later than it actually is, and they have been hit.
"We've lost three of our developers before we evacuated our Virus Experimentation Labs," said Violet Russ, head of Virus Identification and Extermination.
The Speed Virus is believed to have been developed by a joint terrorist task force, and does nothing until it is activated.
"Basically," said Russ, "Once activated, this virus spins the hard-disk way beyond tolerance and draws excessive power into the computer, heating the power supply unit to a dangerous level. As long as the computer user types at fifty words a minute, the fan stays on. The moment their typing dips below this rate, the fan switches off and the computer explodes. One computer took out three employees. The last thing the user sees, we believe, is a picture of Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, laughing."
Snortem and McCaffine have joined forces to attempt to produce an anti-virus against this threat to society, but with less than a fortnight before it hits computers worldwide, they are not hopeful.
"Learn to type fast," was the only advice Russ had.
