New study released: Lectures less exciting than experiments.

Funny story written by Super-fan

Sunday, 30 January 2005

image for New study released: Lectures less exciting than experiments.
Above: chemistry experiment moments before explosion. According to study, a lot more fun than listening to lecture.

A new study was released Thursday revealing that lectures are less exciting than experiments. While lectures have students listening to speeches for long periods of time, experiments have them moving about messing with chemicals and living organisms.

This study could lead to more investigation, including the student brain patterns, effective methods of teaching, and possibly the extinction of lectures. Many parents were distressed to hear this. " We send our kids to school so they can learn while keeping their mouths and hands closed. We don't want activities that promote experimentation and having exciting times in class.

"Experimentation in our schools could lead to dangerous situations, such as the child learning information that the teacher doesn't know. This could cause an uproar with science teachers everywhere." Says one disturbed teacher.

Other teachers had similiar concerns. "What is the point of teachers than to pass on what they know in the form of lectures? We can't allow our students to saurpass us in the knowledge of Science?"

This could open up a world of possibility if it is accepted by the NSTA (the national science teachers association, www.nsta.org.) Children were excited to hear the news, yet feared the changes. " The experiments would be fun for a while until we were tested on them. Now that would be horrible!"

Students around the USA are waiting nervously for the verdict from the NSTA, although only about 3% have heard of this study.

Other studies by the "School Cool" society included a study that students would rather go on sparknotes.com rather than reading the assigned books, and that students and teachers disagree over whether history repeats itself. An excerpt from the history study recorded that today's teen style is new, and today's teen's culture and attitude could not have been attributed to their parents, grandparents, or great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents. Teachers then gave a loud sigh and spent up to 2 hours each researching how history repeats itself. Some even tried to prove it by using books and encyclopedias rather than the new non-repeating Internet.

The decision is expected to come out in fall, although no one really is waiting on the edge of their seat for it to come, although some may be on the edge of their seat waiting for the end of this article.

If the verdict favors experimentation, it is expected that many teachers will go on strike.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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