Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Apple iPad Debutante Ball is April 3, Kindle Says BIG WHOOP
Debut outfits (mini versions) for the iPad range from the flamboyant (as shown) to the more sedate.

The April 3 launch of the tablet computer, the Apple iPad, will be celebrated at a Debutante Ball at which the iPads will be formally introduced to society. The "Coming Out" Ball will be held at the Cupertino, CA, headquarters of Apple, Inc.

Apple had been trying to keep the details a secret until April 2, the day before the launch, but Spoof reporter Gail Farrelly has managed to find out all about the Ball. Staking out a hidden spot behind a tree outside Apple headquarters, Farrelly reports much activity in and around the building. Construction crews have been creating a huge ballroom in one section of the business building. Carpet providers were brought in to create a Red Carpet, a Hollywood touch, at the entrance to the ballroom. In addition, there have been florists, dance instructors, and even -- would you believe -- an etiquette expert, apparently to teach the iPads how to bow.

World-famous dress designers, each holding about a dozen iPad-sized garment bags, have been seen entering the building, intent on selling their wares to the fashion-conscious iPads. We know that iPads are female (the name gives that away, right?), so of course they are concerned about clothes.

Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, are not at all enamored of iPads, fearing that they may intrude on their turf. It's no surprise that two Kindles interviewed by Farrelly were unimpressed by the whole Debutante Ball deal. One said, "Big Whoop! I mean, how many 'Coming Outs' is this contraption going to have? First there's the major press event announcing it, then there's the big deal when pre-orders were first taken, now they need a "Ball" also? Rubbish!" The other Kindle was equally dismissive, saying: "A red carpet? How pretentious! And as for designer outfits, who cares what the thing is wearing? Aren't customers more concerned about how well it works? Nobody knows about that yet, do they? Well, do they?"

Before Farrelly took her leave of the Kindles, the first Kindle had something else to add: "Okay, so Apple set up a big "Coming Out" party. Hope Apple has arranged for a "Coming In" party too. Those things may be boomeranging back, you know. This iPad thing may be nothing but a flash in the pan."

And the beat goes on. The Kindle-iPad beat, that is. Reporter Farrelly will continue to cover it for The Spoof.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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