Written by Helen Tarnation

Friday, 25 December 2009

image for Sexologist invents new position - Kama Sutra 'obsolete'
This darling camel has volunteered. Animal rights activists may complain - or participate

The Kama Sutra is the world's oldest and most notable text which compiles various human sexual positions. Ever since its current version emerged in the second century A.D., its list of 8,174 positions has been considered to be exhaustive, and insurmountably complete.

'The Kama Sutra is now obsolete, as it does not contain the position I have invented', said Bruno Bernheim, Ph.D., a sexologist at the University of Mudbury and consulting engineer for the Halliburton Mattress Co.

According to Bernheim, the position involves a camel, a pickup truck, a complicated piece of exercise equipment, a plumber's helper, two squirrels, and a chandelier.

The position is difficult to describe. Asked if he had a photograph of the position involved, Bernheim said he is still working on that aspect.

'Thus far', he said, 'no-one has come forward to volunteer for this position. Some have expressed an interest, but they later decline when they discover how daunting it is.'

'Ideal candidates would be gymnasts on friendly terms with mammals generally', he added.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex

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