NASA HQ, Groom Lake - (Area 51): The concealment of doomsday scenario Planet X intelligence may have been covered up by the same lunar oil exploration company behind the Apollo moon landings fakery.
An article in this week's seminal UpstreamShagger! magazine has reignited the paranormal chestunt first posited by daft-as-brush ufologst Zecheria Stitchup.
The Azerbaijani/Palstinian crypto-cosmologist is a founding father of Israeli hydrocarbons exploration midget Zion Oil.
Last week Mossad reported that Stitchup had been caught spreading faux Enûma Elis Babylonian creation mythology - "under the influence of pre-Sumerian narcotics."
The Enûma Elis codex was discovered some 150 years ago in the archaeological ruins of the Library of Ashurbanipal at Nineveh - now Mosul, Iraq.
It was etched on little blue clay tablets which 19th century British cuneiformist Henry Layard decoded as being an ancient Mesopotamian forerunner of viagra.
Stitchup was questioned on Saturday about his ingestion of these tablets after Mossad urine tests suggested his cosmology theories are all gonad-based.
Nibiru has been widely dubbed as the zodiac's baleful bogeyman, an apocalyptic gas giant whose collision course with Earth is plotted to coincide with the London 2012 Olympic Games.
UK Olympics grand wizard Sebastian Coe is a cosmic twin to Stitchup's blood-brother Uri Geller.
