LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The world was stunned today when concert promoters AEG unveiled their cyborg, the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
Scavenging the portion of Jackson's brain previously in custody of the Los Angeles medical examiner's office, his original nose which was shaved off in the 1980's, and his original skin for DNA to insure authenticity of their product, along with various body parts from the as yet unburied corpse donated by unnamed Jackson family members, scientists funded by AEG set out to rebuild Jackson "Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."
Bionic legs will allow Jackson to dance at tremendous speed and make great leaps. Jackson's upper speed limit has yet to be firmly established, although a speed of 60 mph is commonly quoted; several scientists have suggested that he can dance much faster, however.
Scientists and concert promoters are hopefully optimistic that the new, improved King of Pop will not develop a drug dependency as he did in his previous human form and will remain in top performance order to be exploited for several centuries to come.