Los Angeles, Ca - (ReUterus & Bad Ass Mess): Someone must have doctored the emetics with toxic human growth hormone.

That is the general prognosis on Farrah Fawcett's lifelong colonic irrigation love affair and the hideous sphinctral consequences now running rampant through her sexagenarian bowel.

The former Charlie's Angel actress has always vehemently denied that it was ex-US Secretary of State Gen Colon Bowel who was the first to hazard that acursed route to tantric nirvana.

But now she's back in hospital with the pesky tumor rearing its ugly head a kiss 'n' tell blockbuster will surely reveal all about the mystery male responsible.

Ex-husband Ryan O'Neal is facing methamphetamine dealing charges.