In a dramatic St Valentine's Day Event the Dark side of the Moon separated from the Light and slowly slipped off to its own orbit on the opposite side of Earth.
Lovers all over the World stood and watched in awe and wonderment as the Luna Severing emitted a deep red heart shaped glow in the night sky - such has never been seen before.
Scientists are amazed, and various theories have been expounded, many putting forward a Giant Impact Hypothesis by asteroid or comet, but most favoured is the suggestion that when Neil Armstrong hammered the US flag into the Moon's surface on July 21, 1969, a crack occurred which has been increasing gradually ever since and finally caused the two halves to part.
The effects on the Earth are awaited with some trepidation. "It is eminently possible that the Luna affect on tides will be changed dramatically." said Professor Sven Svenson, of the Icelandic Doctors Institute of Tidal Surges (IDIOTS), "How this will change the Marine environment is being closely monitored. Computerised models suggest that the oceans will be vastly confused."
A spokeswoman for Petersfield Menstrual Theorists (PMT) suggests that all women of reproductive age will now have two cycles per month. "The doubling of sales of sanitary towels will dramatically affect the economy and take us out of recession." she said.
"Also, this will not be too popular with their husbands and partners and we anticipate they will 'stay late at work' more often."
The Earth's new satellite is to be called Chang'e (pron. Héng'é) after the Chinese goddess of the moon. Unlike many lunar deities in other cultures who personify the moon, Chang'e only lives on the moon. The moon is a palace where immortals and fairies live.
As the "Woman on the Moon", Chang'e could be considered the Chinese complement to the Western notion of a "Man in the Moon". This Male/Female, Yin/Yang bisexual association satisfies all known theologies and mythologies.
A remastered CD of Pink Floyd's 'Dark sides of the Moons' is being rushed into music stores worldwide. Also about to be released are new versions of 'Blue Moons', 'Shine on Harvest Moons', REM's 'Man on the Moons' and 'They are Only Paper Moons'.
Mooning now officially has to be done by two people from opposite sides of the car.
