Gore Declares Victory Over Global Warming

Written by Number 6

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

image for Gore Declares Victory Over Global Warming
Mr. Gore Addresses The National Clown Club

Washington DC-- Former Vice-President Al Gore hailed the success of his campaign against global warming at a speech to the National Clown Club today. The flatulent ex-Veep stated colder global temperatures are a direct results of his tireless actions to save the world. The fat buffoon even hinted at another Nobel Prize is in his future, or at least another Grammy.

"I have saved the world, again." smirked Mr. Gore. "When you look at when we started our crusade in 2001 and compare it with global temperature declines you will see a direct correlation. We did it!" trumpeted the useful idiot to a surreal audience of 1,000 clowns. They all answered with thunderous applause.

Mr. Gore cited new data from NASA confirming global sea ice is where it was in 1979. He also welcomed news of the European cold wave and the freezing of the Thames River.

"I claim victory for myself and the people of the world." he pontificated. "We have turned back the hands of time and will all live to see another day."

Most of the clowns had fallen asleep from boredom. One of the clowns, asked a simple question to the shallow Algore.

"How did you do it, Sir??"

"Oh, you have to ask my press secretary. She's not here today. She has a tummy ache. Goodbye." said Mr. Gore.

The gaseous Gore was then bombarded by 1,000 creme pies, most of the pies landed in his fat face. He left the podium in tears.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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