Political Correctness to Change Cooking Instructions

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 6 July 2008

image for Political Correctness to Change Cooking Instructions
Cooking must become color blind, says Political Correctness groups

No longer will recipes in standard cookbooks be able to use such words as "beat" or "whip" or "brown" or "blacken." This language has been declared offensive by Political Correctness experts and will not be permitted after September first in new or reprinted publications.

When making a cake, cooks will no longer be able to "beat eggs on high," or "separate whites from yolks" as both terms have been labeled offensive (one for rascist reasons). Blackened Chicken and Blackened Fish have also been declared to be rascist names for dishes and must be changed in the latest editions of all Betty Crocker (and other) Cookbooks.

Mixers will now be used to "quickly merge eggs" instead of beat or whip. Recipes such as meringue, which requires the egg yolk and egg white to not be used at the same time, will require the "yolks to leave the area of the other egg parts for ethnic bonding and talks of racial superiority." (Note: egg whites may not leave for ethnic bonding and racial superiority as this would be offensive.)

The mixture for making a yellow or chocolate cake may no longer be referred to as "batter." Brazil nuts (once called Nigger Toes) will again be required to use a new name. Black-eyed peas, red eye gravy, brown rice, yellow and white corn, and French Dressing will also require new names. Crushed or ground crackers, however, will continue to be used in recipes and cooking instructions.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more