Berlin - (Obsessive-Compulsive Mess): A new EU-funded stalk-in advice centre for cyberstalkers has opened in Germany after the discovery of Neo-Nazis hounding internet humor sites.
The Berlin facility says stalking is a Class A addiction with perpetrators constantly upping the pain threshold by adopting cuntless (sic) multiple personalities, constantly defacing forum-users' avatars and thrusting their inadequate egos for a prime suck of the goodies.
Two dozen Jungian-trained psychotherapists and social workers from the EU Psychopathetic Disorders Clinic will dispense free advice "and a damned good seeing-to if necessary" to help stalkers kick their habit.
The center denies it will automatically cooperate with the fuzz for the time being.
"We are aiming to get inside the minds of these filthy little creeps," Prof Von Fuherer Maximillian Mosley-Herring said today.
"Then we will totally obliterate them and their genepools from the face of cyberspace!"
