Radcliffe Stalks Himself

Funny story written by Sophie Jayne

Saturday, 22 March 2008


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Radcliffe stalks himself

We have heard of attention seeking, but pretending you are being stalked is taking things a little too far.

This is exactly what actor Daniel Radcliffe did. He put his acting skills to use pretending he was scared of his stalker and demanding SAS men to guard him at all times when really he knew there was no stalker. He even sent himself some death threats so that we all knew just how serious the stalking was.

Radcliffe was only uncovered when Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) walked in on him writing himself a death threat and laughing. "I asked him what he was going." Rupert told us "And he said he was writing a death threat, he then laughed a really evil laugh. This seemed strange so I took a close look. It said Radcliffe I want you dead so I realised that there was no stalker and he was sending himself death threats."

Grint immediately disarmed Daniel and took the death threat to the police. Unfortunately the police misinterpreted the situation, thinking that Rupert was the stalker sending a fresh new death threat and locked him up.

As true Rupert fans we staged a protest in front of the police station for the ginger ones release, but once again the police refuse to take us seriously, telling us that if we didn't leave they would arrest us. We went away then leaving Rupert to rot in jail and Daniel to get away with stalking himself.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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