Next Ford Car Will Not Have Wheels!

Funny story written by Rotten Apple

Sunday, 11 November 2007

image for Next Ford Car Will Not Have Wheels!
Although this design is out of this world, at least it doesn't have wheels!

DETROIT - Designers at Ford Motor Company have finally thrown away the book. "We are sick and tired of producing cars that all look basically the same! From our earliest Model T Ford right up to our complete 2008 model year, every single Ford has had the same thing: four rubber-tired wheels connected to an engine. Our engineers have been turning out the same boring thing for almost a hundred years. We've managed to pull the wool over the public's eyes all these years by throwing in little doodads like streamlined fins, cup-holders, and windshield wipers, but we can't seem to break away from four wheels connected to an engine."

"Our ho-hum cars are nothing short of a vast conspiracy in which:

  1. Tire manufacturers are kept in business.
  2. Oil companies get fabulously wealthy from selling gas to every Tom, Dick and Harry who has an engine.
  3. Our government is kept busy spending billions of dollars for unnecessary concrete highways."


This is the last year for these cars. Starting in 2009:

  1. Ford cars will not have wheels; nor will they have engines!
  2. Concrete and other hard surfaced roads will cease to be built or maintained.
  3. The "new roads" will provide all the energy needed to move all the new wheel-less, engine-less cars.


Ford engineers are being very tight-lipped about how they plan on pulling off this amazing technological breakthrough other than a few hints leaked to Rotten Apple, a reporter for the online newspaper TheSpoof.com. According to Rotten Apple:

  1. The new transportation system will work something like those moving sidewalks in airport, but with a top secret conductor instead of moving treads - and capable of maintaining tight traffic patterns at speeds of up to 250 mph.
  2. The conductor will be powered by non-fossil-fueled power plants spaced all around the country.
  3. The entire new transportaion scheme was thought up by Dean Kamen during the years since his last invention: the Segway.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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