Giant head of I-CANN, Vint Cerf angered by travelers

Funny story written by King David

Saturday, 3 November 2007

image for Giant head of I-CANN, Vint Cerf angered by travelers
Giant head, Vint Cerf angred by the four travelers

It was reported today in Los Angeles that four travelers and a dog arrived at the steps of I-CANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) and asked to speak with the father of the internet, Vint Cerf.

Cerf did not want to see the travelers for he had more important things to do and kept putting them off. The travelers then became upset and broke through security demanding to see him.

The travelers had come to complain that the internet was too American and that they were not able to type in their native alphabets. They were a Japanese tin man, a Chinese lion, a Mexican scarecrow, a Hebrew girl and her German Shepard.

Cerf, then became angry at their complaints making fire and smoke blow out of his ears telling them that it had taken "six years of work by the Internet Engineering Task Force to get to the point where there was a technical standard that will protect people from confusingly similar expressions of domain names."

The four travelers, huddled together never taking their eyes off of the giant head.

"But we…"

"Silence!" he said.

"If you look at the various scripts of Greek and Russian and Latin, you will discover lots of characters that look exactly the same," the head continued. "This is a hard technical problem and people have worked very very hard to resolve them before we start putting the domain names out there. We are trying to protect the users."

There is always a lot of debate about what the Internet should be used for - education, pornography, voyeurism, gossip, spoofing and making a profit, but the head says that the Internet is for everyone.

The head is planning to leave I-CANN this Friday and float off in a balloon filled with helium leaving the land for the Mexican scarecrow to oversee.

"The Internet is just a platform from which to take off," he said, "it's up to the users to decide how to use it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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