Some scientists in America have discovered that their country is very likely to turn into a black hole if its population does not lose weight, according to a study published in the journal "Science Stuff" today.
The study shows that the combined weight of the American population is nearly high enough to cause the continent to reach critical mass creating a very localized black hole and destroying the planet.
"This is just another symptom of the 'McDonald's culture,'" said mega-brain-man Charles Milligan, "If the whole nation is not put on a diet then they entire human race will die."
But president Bush and General Betrayer have other ideas. they want to send all the obese Americans to Iraq, where they can be dropped from planes to squish the insurgents. It has been calculated that the force of one American schoolchild dropped from one thousand feet is the same a a fifteen mega-ton nuclear bomb.
Whether the UN will allow such measures is unknown, but if they do not, Bush will certainly use it.