Liverpool - (Ass Mess): Archaeologists have discovered the remains of an ancient Viking longship which sank under a Merseyside pub car park in 1942 after drunken Norse warrior sailors suffered a fatal form of early SAT-NAV failure.
The longship is believed to lie six inches beneath the 'Rover's Return' pub car park in Meols, Wirral "where Vikings are suspected to have settled".
Institute of Archaeology experts used ground penetrating radar (GPR) equipment to pinpoint the ship's position after persistent rumors of protruding bison horn-festooned Viking sailors' helmets made the hostelry's patrons suspicious of what might be lurking in the car park outside.
University of Nottingham Viking Department expert Professor Stephen Harding says the Vikings may have been delivering lager to this grim Merseyside outpost when a freak accident struck their vessel.
"Of course, they could just as well have been pissed as arseholes - just like the navigator at the helm of the Exxon-Valdez which crashed into Prince William Sound in 1989 causing over $10 billion of ecological disaster.
"In 1942 terms losing a whole longship payload of lager would have been a significant and parallel eco-horror for Wirral residents.
"I shudder to think what we may find when the bulldozers arrive."
