Whales Lost at Sea?

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

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Delta and Dawn Lost at Sea?

San Francisco, California - Jubilation quickly turned into worry as marine biologists wokeup this morning only to find the wayward whales, Delta and Dawn, which they had been trying to get to swim back down the Sacramento River, were missing. They were last spotted headed in the right direction, for the Pacific Ocean, but now they cannot be accounted for. No one knows how they could disappear so quickly, and without a trace, with so many watchful eyes set upon them.

"Greenpeace made the 911 call to the harbor police," said Marine biologist, Mark Ruben. "We did not actually notice they were missing until we got a printout from our satellite telemetry station back in Arizona, which was about three hours after the call."

Greenpeace members had been monitoring the whales once they entered the San Francisco Bay but were busy saving baby ducklings at the time of the suspected abduction.

All are concerned as a Japanese research vessel was seen in the area just before the whales disappeared.

Harbor police were able to board the Japanese vessel that docked for overnight maintenance to inspect the ships log, but they were not allowed to search the hull by the ship's apprehensive looking captain.

The city by the bay's famous Fisherman's Warf reported to police a suspicious unsolicited offer of two very big fishes for sale. The mysterious caller was told to call back but never did.

"I could hear seagulls in the background and ship horns, so they must have been very close," said the fishmonger who took the call.

Police confirmed the call originated from the Japanese research vessel, but they were unable to get a warrant that was of much good as the ship reached international waters an hour after police were able to trace the call and secure the warrant. Police have called in an animal psychic.

Greenpeace was reportedly pursuing the Japanese research vessel when it suddenly veered north.

"We will continue our search for the missing whales right after a quick trip up to the North Pole to save some Polar bears stranded on melting icebergs," said the first mate of the Greenpeace vessel. "They look like they're in danger of drowning -- Oh, look! More baby ducks in distress. Stop the ship! Reverse all engines!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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