The latest Mars rover mission has made the astonishing fact that Mars is no bigger than a regular-size walnut.
The find comes as a surprise to scientists who now understand that Mars is a tiny planet that is not affected in any way by visual perspective.
"This discovery means that my life up to this point has been a complete waste of time" said one Mars expert today.
British scientists now believe that their Beagle 2 spacecraft, the one that turned out to be shit, missed the tiny planet and is set to boomerang back.
"I hope the force doesn't squash my office at the Open University" said project leader Professor Loser.
