Scientists Find The Uncommon Newt

Funny story written by Pointer

Monday, 12 March 2007

image for Scientists Find The Uncommon Newt
Namesake of adulterous, heartless assasin lizard

The common newt is known for its choice of a mate for life and its unusual ability to cooperate with other creatures.

Nuture Nature Magazine announced in a recent article that researchers believe they have discovered the uncommon newt (N.Gigerichius) seems to abandon its mate at their hour of greatest need and attacks others when they are mimicking the newly discovered creatures seemingly exploitative behaviors.

This uncommon reptile has been named after former Congressman Newt Gingerich since he is infamous for similar behaviors.

Researcher Lufem Lizardis cited Gingerich's shameful visit to his first wife's hospital bedside to ask for a divorce: "The woman was dying of cancer and this Newt came to divorce her! We observed strangely similar behavior in this newly discovered reptile. In addition, N. Gingerichius has been known to leap at the throat of fellow lizards while they are mating with other newts' concorts.

"The similarities were just uncanny and so we dubbed the adulterous,heartless assasin after the former Republican Speaker of the House, famous for his contract on America."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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