Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

image for Plastic eating caterpillars replace garbage men!
No flies on these plastic gorging caterpillars!

Scientists have discovered a way to remove all plastic and other garbage from the face of the planet by unleashing a "plastic gorging caterpillar" to do the filthy jobs refuse companies and governments have failed miserably to do.

Instead of the global human population waiting for their garbage to be picked up by huge stinking trucks and huge stinking garbage men, in the future humans will bring their waste to "Caterpillar plants" where trillions of the things will be waiting day and night for their dinner.

They are even developing a marine version of the caterpillar so it can be released into plastic polluted oceans and rid the planet of this human-perpetrated disaster.

If the initial phase is successful, scientists are planning to genetically improve the caterpillars and make a giant version so they can devour even more crap that humans produce.

One scientist working on the project divulged to Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) (Maybe I should change that to Caterpillar Infiltration Army?) star science reporter, Mighty Maggot-McDonald, the following developments in the project:

"Ja (he's German) ve are going to produce giant caterpillars so huge that zey can also eat humans who dare throw zer rubbish in ze streets, a perfect plan for keeping ze planet clean and getting rid of human wasters!"

The environmental future of the planet is looking good thanks to the humble caterpillar that eventually will turn into beautiful butterflies that crap plastic waste all over the planet but, that's a problem for future generations...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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