Written by pinkwalrus

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

image for New "Ick-Away-Brick" Shields From Negative Atmosphere
Imagine an ick-free day

No one knows how the thing works. The maker of this new product, BetterDays, won't give away any secrets. The Ick-Away-Brick looks like a gritty-surfaced 3x5 inch, 1 inch thick red "brick". What it can do is astounding. The Brick removes any negatively charged emotions from the space around the holder for a range of 25 ft.

The Brick doesn't change anyone's mood in that range, it just clears any of the upset person's feelings out of the space surrounding them. You will look over and see that grimace, frown or sneer but you will not "feel" them. The experience is sort of like having headphones on, you are just tuning out the negative emotions.

And no one needs to know you have The Brick with you. It just sits quietly in your pocket or your purse.

The applications are somewhat unlimited.

Think of all the ick-filled environments during the course of an average day.
• At home: disgruntled spouse and/or children.
• At work: demoralized co-workers, livid boss, dissatisfied customers.
• Over holidays: tense family gatherings.

Needless to say, this product hits the market at a good time taking advantage of both election season and the upcoming holidays.

BetterDays has not yet released 2 variations of The Brick, the phone and web media versions. These more advanced models can clear audio ick from phone calls and audio/video ick from web media.

What would you do with a little more "clean air" around you?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more