Quick shaving cuts closer

Funny story written by Joe Leff

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Cutting-edge research shows that fast shaving results in a smoother shave.

Men who shave themselves quickly tend to cut closer to the skin, according to a large-scale study of shaving habits. In contrast, those guys who take ages to get shaved in a morning only end up with a half-good shave.

This is because whiskers prefer a slow razor to a fast one. If a fast razor is being wielded by a male shaver, then whiskers tend to hide away, thus giving the appearance of a smoother skin.

Dr Ray Zerrsharp, of the Institute of Barber Shop Studies, commented that "shaving faster also tends to result in more cuts - but at least you've got more time to attend to them afterwards."

One male shaver who took part in the research study complained that when asked to shave quickly he cut his face very badly. But the researchers reckon that he was "a lying, two-faced bastard."

Sales of high-speed razors are surging forward. "We were quick to cut the price, and they're moving really fast," said one beaming shop-keeper, rubbing his chin briskly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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