Curse of The Blind Beggar Pub claims yet another fatality

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 31 May 2014

image for Curse of The Blind Beggar Pub claims yet another fatality
Today's death just yards from where Ronnie Kray did the business on rival mobster George Cornell

London - A man plunged to his death today from an apartment building next door to one of Britain's most notorious mobster hangouts hexed for posterity since 1275 by Simon de Montfort's son Henry the Blind.

This morning's sudden unexplained fatality took place on the pavement outside Whitechapel's Blind Beggar Pub in London's East End, a karmic hotspot if local folklore is to be believed.

The pub famously hosted the March 1966 lethal shooting of local gangster George Cornell by rival mobster Ronnie Kray, twin brother of Reggie and sometime lover of Mrs Thatcher and Princess Margaret to name just a few.

Cornell, a member of the rival Richardsons Gang, was sitting at the bar in the pub's saloon sipping pints of Guinness with double scotch chasers when Kray burst in and began to fire.

Moments later Cornell was dead, his entire face perforated with enough rat shot to decimate a substantial colony of the worst vermin.

Meanwhile, one hundred years previously in 1865 William Booth - creator of The Salvation Army - preached his first open air sermon on the very pavement outside the accursed Pub, his theme broadly based on the Sixth Commandment of Thou Shalt Not Kill.

Booth's statue erected subsequently in honor of his humanitarian work once fell over during a fierce winter storm accidentally killing two working shire horses from a neighboring brewery.

A spokesperson for the London Ambulance Service said this evening 'The guy's a goner' as police investigators cordoned off the place.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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