(NOT EDITED) The one and only, infamous, linguistic, illiterate idiot in his own language, Jaggedone, has been commissioned by renowned professors from the Goethe Institute in Munich to modernize their Jurassic, Nazi-influenced, phonetic alphabet.
This project is being financed in Reichsmark currency discovered and buried in a cellar in Berlin that once was an SS torture chamber! The writer of this bullshit doesn't care where the dosh comes from, as long as it's washable in Argentina!
It only took Jaggedone five minutes to renew the alphabet, after all he is a
Giant-Grammatical-Germanic-Genius, confirmed by Einstein turning in his grave!
Here it is, and the 10 million Reichsmark has already been transferred to JO's Cayman Island 'black' bank account, typical German, always punctual!
The new German phonetic alphabet by Jaggedone!
A = was Anton now Arschloch (arsehole)
Ä = was Ärger now Aer-o-sole (Latin for Arsehole)
B = was Berta now Boris (Germans love him!)
C = was Cäsar now Cesar (no change, just a different arsehole)
Ch = was Charlotte now Charlie (transgenders are in)
D = was Dora now Dummkopf (Can't keep Boris out of this)
E = was Emil now Emily (same reason as Charlie)
F = was Friedrich now 'Fuck Off' (Germans love this)
G = was Gustav now GB (They can fuck off too)
H = was Heinrich now Hape Kerkeling (German comedian! What? They have them too!)
I = was Ida now Idioten (no translation necessary)
J = was Julius now Johnson (WW3)
K = was Kaufmann now Kunt (German you know what)
L = was Ludwig now Lustig (Lustig = Funny = Jaggedone)
M = was Martha now Masochist (Berlin Nazi bunkers used for kinky kicks)
N = was Nordpol now North Pole (same, just melting 'sehr schnell')
O = was Otto now Ole (respect for a Norwegian Wood if he could)
Ö = was Ökonom now Oeky Koeky (Lederhosen Knickerbocker Dance)
P = was Paula now Paul (for reference look at Ch and E)
Q = was Quelle now Queen (Germans respect Freddy)
R = was Richard now Rijkaard (Spitting Dutch footy player Germans will never respect!)
S = was Samuel now Samsung (No Apple references please)
Sch = was Schule now Scheisse! (Shit happens)
T = was Theodor now Trump (at least he's not a Jew)
U = was Ulrich now Ultimatum (EU v GB reference, very modern for the last 4 years)
Ü = was Übermut now Uebermensch (Es war Einmal)
V = was Viktor now Victory (Es war Einmal)
W = was Wilhelm now Wanker (Bojo, get out of here!)
X = was Xanthippe now Xenophobia (Sadly still rife in Germany)
Y = was Ypsilon now Yippee (America has taken over the world)
Z = was Zacharias now Zeppelin Led (Germans love Heavy Metal!)
This revamped version has been accepted by the renowned Goethe Institute and Jaggedone has been invited to a global presentation in Munich, but only if he wears his Lederhosen!
