Who Said That?

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 5 September 2019

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WHO SAID THAT?

BILLINGSGATE POST: "Who Said That?"

1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Ted Walsh, Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I mounted her mother."

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it, which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: " I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball Announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact, you can see it all over their faces."

8. At a trophy ceremony, BBC TV Boat Race, 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field."

10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Slim: “Loose lips sink ships.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. If I said that, you would roll your eyes.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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