In Defense Of My Friends

Written by Philip J. Moss

Thursday, 29 September 2016

I never forget a friend. Never. That's what's missing these days - loyalty, that old fashioned virtue. And so I'm going to stand up against the liberal media that is controlled by Crooked Hillary and say that my friend Vlad - my good friend Vlad - had nothing to do with shooting down that Dutch airliner in 2014.

All that evidence that supposedly links Russia to that tragedy, it was all cooked up by the Dutch. Just like Google has been suppressing the truth about Crooked Hillary.

I know that Vlad is a decent man, an honest man, someone who would never, never order one of his critics to be stabbed in London with an umbrella tipped with polonium, to die a slow, horrible death, a man who would never, never order the bombing of an aid convoy in Syria, who would never stand idly by while the Syrian air force carried out the barrel bombing of civilian women and children in Aleppo.

An honest man, I say - he told me himself that he returned that Super Bowl ring to Robert Kraft right away. We need strong men like Vlad to maintain law and order here, in our own country, the way he did in Russia, by suppressing the liberal media.

And another close friend of mine has been treated very unfairly by the media in this country. I'm speaking now about the governor of that mid-Atlantic state, the one that was hit by that storm. I know that I've kidded him about his weight, but it was all just kidding, I really love the guy. He's been betrayed by that former aide of his, the one he appointed to the Port Authority, the one who is falsely testifying in that case - that's what the world has come to, where you help a guy and he turns on you. No loyalty.

Chris has told me that he didn't know anything about the lane closings, and I believe him. He swore up and down that no one on his senior staff ever told him about the lane closings, and I believe him. And that garbage that's been reported, that he laughed when he heard about it, I don't believe it. Not for a minute. Not my good friend, Chris.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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