The Case Against Sports- Part 1

Written by Dick Sheerer

Wednesday, 22 July 2015


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for The Case Against Sports- Part 1
Strike Three. You're out!

Sports spawn a plethora of problems including:

· Wastes energy on adolescent activities

· Wastes money purchasing tickets and memorabilia

· Wastes money funding athletic programs in schools

· Wastes money betting on losers - including yourself

· Distracts students away from academic studies

· Disrupts social harmony by fomenting rivalries

· Perpetrates gambling and other criminal activity

· Has violent physical contact causing injury & death

· Produces sweat, saliva, and other body fluids

· Causes eye strain by watching it too much

· Causes jock itch, foot fungus, and yeast infections

· Causes mouth and throat cancer from chewing tobacco

· Causes illness and disease from steroid abuse

· Players rape & kill friends and family members

· Players eventually become losers no matter what.

· Makes players perverts by playing with their balls

· Same-sex teams discriminate against opposite sexes

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more