Ancient Papyrus Text - Jesus Claims his Wife Was a Ballbreaker!

Funny story written by dave nelson

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Professor Karen L. King, in her office at Harvard Divinity School, held a fragment of papyrus that she says contains a reference to Jesus' wife.

The ink on the front side contains eight lines, dark enough to be legible. Line 4 purportedly says, Jesus said to them, 'My wife is a Fucking Ballbreaker".

"It's obviously an important find," said Carl R. Holladay, professor of New Testament studies at the Candler School of Theology at Emory University. "The circumstances in which it's come to light really require all scholars to realize that Jesus was another man who suffered from wife ballbreaking."

Dr. King has reiterated that the fragment is proof that Jesus was married because it was found shortly before his death, making it historically reliable.

The finding has prompted "Jesus Was Married" headlines around the world - and jokes about Mrs. Jesus' "honey-do" list.

The papyrus fragment, which measures only about 1 ½ by 3 inches, is written in Coptic that Dr. King says is consistent with writing seen in fourth-century Egypt. It is roughly rectangular, torn on all four sides, so that each line of text is incomplete.

Other phrases in the text suggest that it is an account of a dialogue between Jesus and his disciples, Dr. King maintains. According to her translation, Line 3 includes the words "She is hot but somewhat of a bitch ." Line 5, immediately after the line about Jesus' wife, says, "...she will be able to be my disciple." Line 7 says, "As for me, I dwell with her in order to get laid and relax therein and that fag Paul is going to hate her."

Dr. King, who holds a chair at Harvard Divinity School, has written extensively about the Gospels of Mary, Judas and Philip, relatively recent discoveries that are not a part of the established biblical canon. Even before this week, Dr. King was a favorite target of religious leaders who seek to alter the truth to protect the Church Dogma.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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