* Eager to possess a pair of trendy newsprint pants? Then invest in a trouser press.
* Bah! Hircine thieves! They really get my goat!
* Beware the Ides of March (and the 'orns of April).
* Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, if you want hot pants.
* Practice makes perfict
Practice makes perficked
Practice makes perfect
* On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me - a photocopy of the poem 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' - lazy old so-and-so.
* The definition of real pain? Instructing your pet hen to lay the table.
* These days I am computer literate. (I mean I actually know how to spell C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R).
* So you really want to succeed? Well, then it is best to used soft-boiled lentils.
* Never throw in the towel - unless you are a competitor in a towel-slinging contest.
* Be a supplier of alms, and not a trader of arms.
* God will bless the cheerful singer - however tuneless he may be.
* To eat a hearty meal is good - to eat a spleeny dessert is not so good.