The sayings and proverbs of Nate John Won

Funny story written by Nate John Won

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

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* Eager to possess a pair of trendy newsprint pants? Then invest in a trouser press.

* Bah! Hircine thieves! They really get my goat!

* Beware the Ides of March (and the 'orns of April).

* Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, if you want hot pants.

* Practice makes perfict
Practice makes perficked
Practice makes perfect

* On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me - a photocopy of the poem 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' - lazy old so-and-so.

* The definition of real pain? Instructing your pet hen to lay the table.

* These days I am computer literate. (I mean I actually know how to spell C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R).

* So you really want to succeed? Well, then it is best to used soft-boiled lentils.

* Never throw in the towel - unless you are a competitor in a towel-slinging contest.

* Be a supplier of alms, and not a trader of arms.

* God will bless the cheerful singer - however tuneless he may be.

* To eat a hearty meal is good - to eat a spleeny dessert is not so good.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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