Previously Unrecognized Benefits of Tobacco Smoking

Funny story written by The Ruling Authority

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

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Cigarettes are generally considered bad for you. But here are a few things that may cast the practice in a slightly different light.

!.) Smokers get outside, away from their desks and computer screens several times per day. Since smoking is disallowed in virtually every workplace, restaurant, bar, or public building, smokers are forced out into the great outdoors.

Although they are unable to enjoy the benefits of exercise due to shortness of breath, they may actually observe wildlife, perhaps a squirrel or a pigeon.

2.) Social Security is in danger of running out of funds. Baby Boomers are aging into retirement and this large demographic is threatening to overwhelm the system.

By continuing to smoke tobacco, lives will be shortened by years and these public-spirited smokers will relieve some of the strain on the economy.

3.) The stigma produced by being a despised cohort of society can give those who continue to smoke a sense of what it is like to be discriminated against, thus creating empathy for other minorities.

4.) And lastly, a cigarette and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning will move the bowels marvelously, thus relieving constipation and producing a sense of achievement.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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