Just in from the penny-pinching, tight-fisted, parsimonious, cheap, tightwads that inhabit our nation - twenty surefire ways to avoid paying your income taxes:
1. Just don't pay them.
2. "I'll pay them when I'm good and ready!"
3. "Didn't my ex-wife pay them?"
4. "Didn't my ex-husband pay them?"
5. "My dog ate my tax forms."
6. "I was out of the country."
7. "I have amnesia."
8. Plead Alzheimers.
9. "I was abducted by an alien spaceship during tax season."
10. "I have a charitable foundation."
11. Bernie Madoff was my financial advisor."
12. "No Hablo Engles."
13. Die.
14. Hole up in a cabin deep in Yukon Territory.
15. Take a permanent vacation anywhere out of the country.
16. Be super rich.
17. Be super poor.
18. Be supercilious.
19. Don't earn any money.
20. Take the money and run!
