Lord Clegg slams House of Lords bastards

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 6 August 2012

image for Lord Clegg slams House of Lords bastards
Half-bro Dave's another conspiracy-peddling arse

London - Deputy Prime Monster Nick Clegg has blamed 'bastards' in the Lords for failure to abolish the illegitimate and anachronistic House of Commons.

Speaking to reporters at a lunchtime briefing Lord Clegg described how he'd successfully infiltrated the Upper House.

"Frankly, it's all been a bit agent provocateur, if you ask me," Clegg hinted enigmatically, "all those ermine-lined knickers and velvet-trimmed cuffs.

"Still, knoblesse oblige as we say in Vladivostock!"

The massive climbdown comes amid months of national ridicule that parodied Clegg as a pathetic conspiracy-peddling arse.

Last December's clanger by David Cameron saw the feckless tosspot outed as yet another of the PM's brothers - all sons of Tony B Liar.

"It's not like we're brothers!" Cameron said at PMQs despite backbenchers' shouts of 'Bollocks!' and other ripostes.

The siblings have David Beckham and Andy Murray as their half-brothers - as well as 'Little Miss Muffet' Rebekah Brooks as one of their secret baby sisters.

"You can tell they're all siblings, like," a QM-NewsCorpse source said today, "they've all had radical surgery to remove horns that run in the Blair-Hitler genome."

Tonight Clegg remains holed up in his taxpayer-funded grace and favor bolthole as Tory backbenchers hail the massive climbdown.

The Duke of Chernobyl is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more