A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Nine - Tesco 1962

Funny story written by Inchcock

Saturday, 7 July 2012


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The Dog

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947

Chapter 104:
1962: A Day At Work At Tesco

"With thanks to Skoob1999 who triggered my memory of this incident, when he was telling me of one of his own. Thank You Sir!"

I was at the back door of Tesco on Granby Street (later to become Maid Marion Way), unloading a delivery.

The back door was half-way up the gigantic concrete step up to the warehouse, with a level bit half-way and the doors. Conveyor belts top to bottom for things going down to the shop floor, and one from the back door up to the warehouse for deliveries.

Earlier when opening the doors, a ten-foot iron bar had been removed from across the door as usual, and stood up on end at the side of the open door.

While I was catching the parcels of sugar, and placing them on the conveyor belt, 'someone walking up the stairs', caught the bottom of the bar, that came down and belted me left foot across two toes.

I think I might have said rather loudly "Flippin' 'eck!"???

The pain was excruciating - I struggled on to finish the unloading that was almost finished anyway. Then hobbled up to the gents to look at the damage.

I gently took off me shoe, and the blood gushed out... I called for assistance.

It took ages for the girls to stop the blood, the nail of the big toe had been crushed into the flesh.

The first aider said to go straight to hospital A&E which was only about five minutes walk away. But it was just too painful to get the shoe back on.

They cut up a Heinz Mulligatawny soup box, and tied it around my foot. The walk to the hospital took half an hour.

The first-aider left me in the queue, and in pain and feeling sorry for myself I was!

After an hour or so, the blood was pouring out again, and someone wrapped some loose bandages over the top of the cardboard, the added some more later. A group of patients had their names called, and we went into a smaller waiting room, sat down, and a nurse came to see each of us for further details and quick check of everyone's condition - at this point, the pain and feeling sorry for myself eased considerably!

A chap sat opposite me, was holding a cloth to his forehead. He gave the nurse his details, telling her he worked for British Rail as a lorry driver, and was turning the starting handle on his wagon, when it recoiled and hit him on the forehead.
When the nurse removed it to have a look at the injury... oh the poor chap, there was not a lot of blood, but a 4 inch split in the bone, opened and we could all see inside his head - horrendous!

She moved on to the next patients, then left us.

I could see the man was suffering, and I struggled up to walk passed him to get the nurse, when he collapsed and fell out of the chair... onto my left foot!

They patched me up, gave me date to return, and sent me on my way. As I asking about the man with the head injury, he was wheeled along the corridor in his way to a ward, but had a little colour in his cheeks and was coherent thank heavens.

I was glad to get away, taking a short cut hobbling through the car park - when a dog ran up to me, gnawed on me left leg a bit, stopped, barked once, and ran away!

Back into A&E.

Three stitches and a gigantic tetanus jab, after another two hour wait, during which the toe started bleeding again, and I was off again back to work to get my motorbike and things.

I tried riding the bike, but the foot gear changing was too painful, so I left it there overnight - but it was gone never to be seen again when my neighbour went to fetch it for me in the morning.

Oh, and Nottingham Forest lost 3-6 away to Man Utd the next day!

More Episodes of Woe to follow (I hope!)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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