Written by IN SEINE

Monday, 19 December 2011

image for How to Get a Free 12 Year Cruise on a Luxury Ocean Liner for Your Children
All aboard the Freewinds - children welcome!

1. Join the Church of Scientology for a few years. (Remember the name of the game is to get rid of your children for 12 years, yes 12 years!!)

2. Renounce your faith in Scientology.

3. Allow the "church" to write up a contract for 1 billion years. (Why 1 billion years?)

4. Let them send away child/children to catch a jet to Australia.

5. They will then be given a boarding pass for two weeks (you must understand that in Scientology time, two weeks = 12 years!) Where your child will be able to see (but not use) any of the fantastic facilities aboard the Freewinds luxury ocean liner with its 12 decks and three swimming pools.

6. Your child/children will be able to see over the 9000 CCTV cameras on board the ship and also undergo 'light therapy' sessions which promise to be life changing!

7. He/she will also have an extensive tour of the workings of the ship and will be able to enjoy at least three months in a warm engine room.

8. By this time your child should be ready to escape and if she/he is lucky enough, they will have been on a 12 year cruise which will of course cost nothing - yes, NOTHING. That's because the church of Scientology will deny everything your child claims (except the contract you made for 1 billion years, was they claim to be binding)

Eventually when your child/children come home they'll all be GROWN-UP and they might even be pleased to see you!


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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