Robin Gibb to Release One Last Album

Funny story written by Proffitt

Monday, 21 November 2011


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image for Robin Gibb to Release One Last Album
The last album

Gibb suffering from the big 'C' talks candidly about his last album, life (or the impending end) and colostomy bags.

Many people the world over are today the world over waiting for Rob to pop off; however he has agreed to give us what may well be his last interview.

Talking of his latest album the 61 year old BeeGee said; 'I am determined to release one last happy singsong for my fans, ya know forget the cancer and focus on the happy stuff.'

Robin's album will be titled: Cancer Is like Man UTD, Difficult to Beat Anytime Track list: Side one

1. "I Don't Think It's Funny" (This cancer shit)
2. "I Close My Eyes" (And wonder if they will open again!)
3. "You'll Never See My Face Again" (Once the cancer has ravaged me)
4. "I Laugh in Your Face" (So do your best Mr Cancer wanka)
5. "I Lay Down and Die" (At some point soon)
6. "Bury Me Down by the River" (Where there's no pollution that could cause cancer)
7. "I'm Weeping" (from my cannula)
8. "When Do I" (shuffle of this mortal coil)
9. "Alive" (for the moment)

Side two

1. "I Don't Wanna Be the One" (why did I get this bastard disease?)
2. "Voices" (I hear them in my head saying BeeGee - your time is up)
3. "Dogs" (why are my nurses all fat and pig ugly)
4. "Jive Talkin" (that natural health Doc was sure talking fuckin Jive)
5. "Tragedy" (I wont live to see 'Dr No' on Christmas day)
6. "The Longest Night" (the old guy in the next bed coughed for ages)
7. "Ghost Train" (I've got my ticket to ride)
8. "Human Sacrifice" (No you can't have my corneas when I'm gone)

Bonus tracks:

"Miracles Happen" (not bloody likely)
"She Keeps On Coming" (even though she's not in my last will and testament)

What do you remember most about your life? 'I wanted to celebrate my life in one last album and I think I have managed to avoid the shit that's eating me alive,' says Gibb looking all emaciated. 'This chemo crap they give you tastes like melted marshmallow…..umm, not bad. Want some?' I politely declined his offer.

Finally Robin had a message for anybody in the same situation he is in. He said: 'Don't go too far with your colostomy bag flappin round in the wind. For fucks sake tie it down tight against your leg. Nobody wants to see your shit flyin round the air and likely to hit some little kid in the face!'

Wise words I think you'll agree.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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