Written by Les Being

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Saturday was going to be an easy day in tabloid world. It's the first day of the school holiday, the weather is looking good and an early finish is on the cards.

They had been working frantically over the past weeks on the Murdoch phone hacking scandal, secretly keeping back some juicy snippets for the front pages.

Everything was going well, it was only twelve noon and the papers were all ready to go to press. The journalists were all but on the way home, dreaming of sipping a Pimm's in the garden when the unexpected happened.

News came in of a terror attack in Norway. Up to one hundred people killed. It soon became apparent that this story would now have to cover the front pages. Frantically the poor journalists hurried to cobble together a story about what up until now was a country they had never been to and knew very little about.

Disappointed that the weekend plans had been thwarted they somehow managed to Google enough information about Norway to make them appear experts. Still grumbling that their day had been ruined, having worked hard to put a Norway story together. They were about to find out that things were about to get even worse.

Just as they were switching off the computers and thinking that the Pimm's was almost within reach, troubled pop sensation Amy Winehouse went and died. How could she? Of all the times she could have chosen she chose now. She didn't care that the front pages had already been changed once. It didn't even occur to her that it was the first day of the holidays. This was now going to be the big story and a new front page was needed.

Shortly after, news came in that two passenger trains had collided in central China. One reporter said; "I don't care; unless someone walks in here with a picture of the Queen in a gimp suit I'm going home".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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