Tarnish and Varnish

Funny story written by William Turdsworth

Saturday, 2 July 2011

image for Tarnish and Varnish
You only smile when you tarnish

You tarnish your album
With that fucking song
You tarmac my road
But that's nothing wrong

You tarnish the mornings
With incessant tweeting
But your tweeting on Twitter
Takes some beating

You tarnish my thoughts
You tarnish your sequels
You tarnish my silver
You tarnish your equals

You tarnish my varnish
And make it vanish
You tarnish my rhymes
So I have to use mannish

You tarnish my cocktail
With paper umbrellas
That tarnish is garnish?
But not for us fellas

You tarnish that lighthouse
In Arnish, Scotland
But don't tarnish Barnish
It's full of kids and,

Carnish looks nice
If you fancy a break.
There's a Darnish on Facebook
But she looks pretty fake

The island of Farnish
Sits in the North sea
And you don't pronounce Earnish
With a silent 'E'

Harnish fix cars
Jarnish likes Liverpool
Three Karnish on Linkedin
All Steves, that's cool

Larnish provide
Creative solutions
To your marketing challenges
With their innovative ablutions?

The postcode for Marnish
Starts B T 4 5
Had enough of this nonsense?
Or is your name Clive?

So tarnish away
And do what you must
But at the end of the day
You're nothing but rust.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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