Premiership Footballers Disappointed At The Queen's Birthday Honours List

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 11 June 2011


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After reading through the people to be honoured - as listed on the Queen's Birthday Honours list, a number of Premiership Footballers are extremely disappointed that their names are NOT on the list.

Ryan Giggs is alleged to have commented:

"It's not bloody fair, there is Mark Cavendish on the list for his services to Cycling and some really unusual ones. For example, these are some of the people she is giving awards to,

Mrs. Edna Ida May Bessel For Services to Lawn Bowling

Kevin William Haylor - Tractor and Machine Operator,

Who the hell has heard of these sods? Oh, also,

Hugh John Green For Hairdressing Services

Miss Rabindra Kumati Dhigpal Kaur Singh For Services to the Indian Miniature Tradition of Painting,

and of course Bruce bleeding Forsyth for crying out loud. 'Give us a Twirl, Cuddly Toy' big-chinned old fart.

Not a bleedin' mention of any of our players who COULD'VE been given awards for such things as:

Services to Women

Services to Hairtransplant Surgeons

Services to The Retail Industry (for all the cash the WAGs spend).

Services to Journalism (for all the news we provide)

It's not bleedin' fair. We knacker ourselves on and off the field and not a bleedin' sniff of an OBE or wha'ever.

I'm not bitter. Just bleedin' confused!"

For a list of people who ARE on the Queens Birthday Honours list - this can be Googled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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