Fat Cat Banker Evan Meets Fate

Funny story written by The Medium Cheese

Monday, 9 May 2011

image for Fat Cat Banker Evan Meets Fate

A banker whose manner was blunt
Squandered investor's funds on a punt.
The whole lot was lost
At incredible cost
To the nations that all bore the brunt.

Just one man, whose shoulders were broad,
Was sacked, for reporting the fraud.
The judge in his case
Said "I don't like your face"
So he lost 'cause the system is flawed.

That outcome ignited his zeal;
Off he went to the Court of Appeal.
But the banker had bought
All three members of court,
And after, he bought them a meal.

Years passed till they got to that night
With hero still willing to fight.
He would have done more,
But by then he was poor,
So instead, he decided to write.

He came up with a website and book,
'Cause by then he did not give a chuck
He published the truth
'bout the suited uncouth
And hoped that the fraud squad might look

Within days he was duly arrested
As bankers, en masse, had protested
Saying he undermined
A whole system designed
To care for their interests (all vested)

Once more he went back to the judge
Who, by then, had full nurtured a grudge
"You are guilty as charged
With your sentence enlarged",
he scoffed, with a wink and a nudge

Our hero then languished in prison
tormented by scorn and derision.
While he sat there in tears,
weeks and months turned to years.
While Evan's vast income had risen

But natural justice, it seems
Can reach out to folk of all means
An unfortunate slip,
Cut, burn, crash, fall or trip
Can cut short the most grandiose dreams

So our fat cat was almost in heaven
When St Peter (who now comes from Devon)
Said: "I've heard, and I reckons
Eternity beckons
You down to the furnace, old Evan".

The moral in every true story
About Lib Dem or Labour or Tory
Is while decadent fools
think hypocrisy rules
It's their victims deserve all the glory

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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