Sexuality and Biscuits?

Written by Professor A. Tweedy

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

For all you readers reading this, be prepared to be astounded by the fantastic truth of sexuality, that will answer all questions you or your confused siplings have on homosexuality, bisexuailty etc. The truth is sexuality, when thought about, is almost completely based on a biscuit table.

You may be sceptic about this theory, but consider this. You approach the biscuit table, the main choices available are chocolate fingers (homosexuality) or jammy dodgers (hetrosexuality). Or, if your feeling peckish, have both (bisexuality, if your not hungry don't have any biscuits (asexuality).

Of course, you may grow tired of the taste of jammy dodgers or chocolate fingers, why not try both together (orgie)? Or you could try biscuits that most people don't try. Perhaps a muffin (fat fetish), or even a jaffa cake (fetish for the diseased)? You could always grab a chocolate finger, and dip it into the jammy dodger (cross gender).

So I give this advice to all reading this, when you wish to have a biscuit, do have the one past its sell by date, as it may lead to other frightening sexual experiances, which would not be fun to tell at a dinner table.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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