Spoof writer, Reddon, AKA Skoob was celebrating this morning as the postman turned up with a wheelbarrow full of cash following the idiot's surprise internet megasmash hit - 'I Need A Dump.'
As he rolled around on the hearthrug throwing fistfuls of cash about the sitting room, Reddon was heard to shout:
"Ohhh yessss! GET IN!"
It transpires that Reddon, AKA Skoob, AKA Martin Shuttlecock, in a thoroughly disgruntled frame of mind elected to pen a little ditty about going to the toilet - and it's making millions from downloads.
"I only did it for a laugh," Reddon chuckled. "It's pretty crap really, but a lot of people seem to think it's cool - either that or they think it's so crap it's mildly amusing. I don't really care either way, as long as the wonga keeps rolling in!"
Reddon went on to explain that his inspiration for the song came the morning after a night on the beer, when he awoke in desperate need of the toilet.
It seems he was sufficiently inspired to pen the following lyric:
"I NEED A DUMP
Time is it?
Yeah yeah right
Me need a shite
How many beer did me have lass night
innit innit innit
Me can't move right now
Me feelin' like a cow
An dat
In me park pie 'at
innit innit innit
Me got the hump
I need a dump
innit innit innit
Man me got ta go
No time for slow
Me shoutin' aht
Dem turtle heads is squeezin' aht
innit innit innit
Gots ta move
Or me butt groove
gonna stain da bed
wife hit me in da head
innit innit innit
Cor love a duck
An wot da fluck...
Innit innit innit
Know what I am sayin' 'ere bro
Me need to go
Me move me arse
It be obvious (arse)
Dat me mess da sheets
Unless me get da groove
An start ta move
Innit innit innit
Ya knaaa wot ah mean...
Me runnin
Not skippin
Me not gay boy batty man ya Knaa?
WHOOSH!
Ahhhh me made it
Innit innit innit
Relief relief
Save me da grief
Dis sense of relief...
Mabel! Where da bog roll?
Pon me poor lost soul...
Dey int no tissue!
Me make it an issue!
Innit innit innit
Yer knaa...
Yer knaa wot me mean...
Innit innit innit."
Which is a really crap lyric for any song.
But the internet certainly has no respect for taste or talent.
A bit like Simon Cowbell really.
