Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

image for Osama Bin Laden Speaks Out
A recent photo of Osama Bin Laden in Mississippi before he got his extremely darker tan. (Photo was taken by OBL).

Dear People of America - Just a quick little note to remind everyone just how damn friggin good I am at evading being captured by the barbaric capitalist that have been searching for me for many years.

I will give them credit because those dudes have just about looked in every cave in Pakistan and they have not found me (Osama Bin Laden). Well that is because I am not in Pakistan; I am in Mississippi...yes Mississippi!

I have gotten a hell of a tan and I dress like every other black male in Mississippi, complete with bling bling, loose fitting pants, and a do rag for my head.

I walk around the malls listening to music by Snoop Dogg, 2 Live Crew, and Puff Diddy, or P. Diddy, or Puff Daddy or whatever the hell that arrogantly sarcastic bro is calling himself these days.

I tell the locals that I moved down here from Kentucky where I played college basketball with the University of Kentucky Wildcats.

And I am so convincing that I even have a black girlfriend. Her name is LaQwanda Biffton. Mama Biffy, as I call her is 23, has never been married, and she has a beautiful, big, gigantic ass, just like Kim Kardashian.

Regards To The Searchers,
Osama Bin Laden (aka Willie Tyrone Mason-Dixon)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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